


One Way Ticket To Paradise

by ThayerKerbasy



Series: Team No Chill [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Florida, Gen, New Year's Resolutions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-19
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-03-06 20:56:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13419480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThayerKerbasy/pseuds/ThayerKerbasy
Summary: Baby take this promise from meI won't do it anymoreI'll be nice to you and Mac, seeBecause I'm knockin' on heaven's door





	One Way Ticket To Paradise

**Author's Note:**

> Huge thank you to grey2510 for the summary. I have no aptitude for such lyrical poetry.

“Get this,” says Sam. “I’m looking at those Fake or Florida things, and a couple got arrested for selling ‘Golden tickets to Heaven’.”

Without taking his eyes off the road, Dean chuckles. “Man, if only people knew, right?”

From his place on Sam’s lap, Mac pipes up, _Knew what? I don’t get it._

Sam only grins in response, so Coleman replies, _Apparently Heaven kinda sucks._

 _Yup,_ adds Baby. _Angels are dicks with wings and Heaven is just your life’s greatest hits on repeat._

 _That wouldn’t be so bad,_ replies Mac. _I can think of plenty of research sessions I wouldn’t mind repeating._

Could he possibly _be_ a bigger nerd? Granted, there were days Coleman wouldn’t mind repeating on a loop. Like that one time when Cas pressed his leg against Coleman’s side for an entire car ride. Yeah, that was good.

_Have you seriously forgotten that we can hear you?_

_Shut up, Baby! Like you wouldn’t love those long solo drives with Dean on infinite repeat._

_What? No. Maybe. Shut up. It doesn’t matter. Inanimate objects like us don’t get into Heaven._

_Says who? Is it because we’re not good enough?_

_No, but yeah,_ replies Baby. _In case you haven’t noticed, you’re kind of a jerk._

_What? Am not._

_Are too. You’re mean to Mac._

Stumbling back into the conversation, Mac cuts off Coleman’s intended reply with, _Huh?_ _Sorry, what was that? I wasn’t paying attention. Sam and I are reading New Year’s resolutions now_. _Some of them are pretty funny._

It’s possible Baby might have a point. Not that he would ever admit that, of course (ignoring that she can hear everything he’s thinking). He could maybe stand to be a bit nicer.

_I’m gonna get into Heaven. Just you watch. Matter of fact, my New Year’s resolution is to be a nicer person…stop laughing, I can do this._

_Okay, one, you’re not a person. Two, you actually laughed when Mac had that virus._

_What? Really?_ said Mac.

There were times Coleman really wishes he could do the whole “press your lips together, roll your eyes, and sigh” thing. The only problem is his total lack of lips, eyes, and breath. There has to be a satisfying way to express his exasperation besides just thinking about it.

 _Again, we hear you, beer-for-brains_ , said Baby. _Seriously, you compared him to a moldy sandwich._

 _Okay okay,_ Coleman protested. _I get it, but I’m gonna do better this time, I swear. But while we’re talking, Mac old buddy, you think you could pull up more of those Fake or Florida things? I liked the one where the guy got arrested in the middle of a haircut. Pure gold!_

Mac grumbles, opens up Twitter and talks as he types, _My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that’s okay with you guys?_

 _Coleman?_ says Baby.

_What’s up?_

Even though she has no head to shake, Coleman gets the sense that she’s shaking her non-existent head at him. _Not cool, dude._

**Author's Note:**

> It's Coldest Hits time again! For [this month's theme](http://spncoldesthits.tumblr.com/post/169572541875/terrible-new-years-resolutions-spncoldesthits), we needed to include terrible New Year's resolutions and our stories needed to stay under 500 words. There were other assorted options for bonus points, and I'm pretty sure I made use of all of them.
> 
> I'm playing to win this month. Feel free to comment and tell me just how ridiculous this story is, but if you desperately need to give kudos, I'd like to suggest you check out some of my competition instead. There's some great stories this month in the [Coldest Hits collection](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/SPNColdestHits/works) and all of them are 500 words or less.


End file.
